Love Letter

/

        Speak to me of rivers and bones; show me what to do with this mouth full of stars. Listen—what am I saying?

        The dogs lie still; grandfathers dance through the shade of days to come. The snows of yesteryear melt into tomorrow, watering what might have been. No more.

        Take these stars, these bones, this river—take them far away from me, take them to the other side of time and see how I find you, see how I am already there.

//

Here's what I mean:
I feel you in my bones, riding
a river of light that sparkles
on my tongue.
This current, strong and steady
holds the willing in its sway.
It will come for you, for me.
Will we—dare we—be carried away?

Comments

[danpowell]

I like how the narrator/letter writer needs the object of his/her affection to clarify the meaning of what is written her. Gives the reader a sense of being lost inside complicated emotions.

[2mara]

"show me what to do with this mouth full of stars" - I absolutely love this.

Beautifully written
~2

[Pippa Hennessy]

One of the things I love about poems is working out what they mean to me, and reading a poem that is working out what it means to itself is an extra layer that is a rare treat. And the imagery is beautiful... :-)

[Laura Eno]

Beautiful imagery!

I especially liked "...take them to the other side of time and see how I find you, see how I am already there."

[J. M. Strother]

I fear I cannot do your poem justice with my feeble commentary. I am terrible at describing poetry. I only know when I like something. I liked this a lot.

As with all poems, I read this aloud, to get a sense of the flow and meter of the thing. It flowed exceptionally well. And as others have said, the imagery is just wonderful. Nice addition to the #fridayflash.
~jon

[Chris Chartrand]

I loved this. The narrator's summation of the first verse still left me enough room to bring what I wanted into the interpretation. Quite an amazing feat. A lovely piece.

[thorick]

"a river of light that sparkles..."

"on my tongue"

I read it with a very nice mind bending pause !

[Shannon Esposito]

I too, am weak at judging poetry...but wow. Your word choice, the way you strung them together so the whole is even more beautiful than the pieces...I'm in awe. I'm sure there are layers here I'm not getting, but the raw emotion invoked was like being swept away toward hope.
Looking forward to reading more of you!